Monday, June 28, 2010

All The Cheese That's Fit To Print

Solving crosswords causes me to buy cheese.

Whenever I see FETA, BLEU, GOUDA, EDAM, SWISS, BRIE and ASIAGO in a grid, they call out to me  during shopping trips to West Side Market. Upper-Upper Westsiders and Columbia University students know this supermarket as the 24/7 place to stock up on food while gorging on STORE D'OEUVRES in the cheese department.

STORE D'OEUVRES, a phrase that recently came onto my radar, is the perfect definition for those free food samples aimed at getting you into the store--and keeping you there until, cube by cube, you've eaten half a pound of six types of cheeses.

An overdose of cheese is usually followed by brain fog . . . I'm starting to ponder the architectural shapes of cheese as medieval weaponry. The cheese aisles are crammed with potentially-dangerous projectiles: BLOCKS of feta, BRICKS of cheddar, WHEELS of brie, WEDGES of swiss, BALLS of edam.

All this weaponry, and I've yet to see a fight break out in this cramped, narrow-aisled cheese department. A testament to the calming effect of STORE D'OEUVRES which, for good or for ill, count as rare freebies in one of the most expensive cities in the world.

1 comment:

Crossword Man said...

What a friend we have in cheeses!