It's been a challenging month. A ruptured hot water pipe upstairs ruined my recently-painted living room ceiling. (Oh, how I love to paint ceilings!) The air conditioner ceased to condition air. Three very expensive brand-new viola strings broke shortly before a concert. I lost my Metrocard. And, ouch, my teeth have started to hurt.
With the world rapidly closing in on me, I did what any Upper West Side Desperate Non-Housewife would do -- I joined a football pool.
Juicy Couture sweat suit and three-inch stiletto heels) . . . and in a split second, your world changes. Splish-Splash!! Suddenly you're thrashing around in the deep end of the football pool teeming with Dolphins and Vikings and Seahawks. And it's changed me in profound ways.
Being in a football pool has made me a more tolerant person. For the first time in my life, I'm poring over websites devoted solely to point spreads. My new friends -- Vinny, Tommie, Joey and Mad Dog -- aren't just voices on sports talk radio . . . they're almost family. And God help me, I'm beginning to understand men and their relationship to Monday Night Football.
Being in a football pool has made me a more compassionate person -- I care deeply about groin injuries other than my own . . . and how said injuries might affect my standing in the football pool.
Being in a football pool put my problems into perspective. Things aren't so bad, after all. Cool nights are here -- no AC required. I found a new set of viola strings in (duh) the viola case. The Metrocard turned up in a jeans pocket on laundry day. Sure, my teeth still hurt and the ceiling is still ruined, but who notices pain or crummy ceilings during football season?
Finally -- being in a football pool has encouraged creativity. New-found obsessions = fresh ideas and new puzzles. I now appreciate all those grid-saving shorties like NFC, AFC, RBS, HBS, QBS, TDS, TES, OGS. (National Football Conference, American Football Conference, running backs, halfbacks, quarterbacks, touchdowns, tight ends and offensive guards.) Grid is good.
So how am I doing? Last week, my pick--the Steelers--won in a nail-biting overtime. It was one of those OTS (fifth quarters) we see in puzzles. Whew . . . still flailing around in the deep end of the pool, but I'm alive!
A pitcher of margaritas is in the fridge . . . and it's time to make the guacamole before today's game. In closing, there are but two words to say . . .